Csaba Tibor Palotas

I am a rebel. As children, we all begin as rebels. At least, I did. This rebellious streak persisted from my youth into adulthood. I rebelled against school, parents, money, politics, society, art, science, religion, philosophy, conformity... Over the years, its grip loosened, yet it never truly left me. Ultimately, it faced its most significant challenge when it turned inward, rebelling against my ego. This wasn’t a new form of self-hate; rather, I realized that this ego wasn’t truly mine, nor was it me. It was a mental construct shaped by personal history and thoughts that are lingering circularly...

I strove to peer beyond the confines of logical, conceptual thinking. What I discovered was “nothingness” wrapped in serenity, appearing as presence. No new thing here, as many before me had uncovered it and dwelled or still dwell within it. Some of them are the spiritual leaders of our times.

However, this nothingness is everything, though. These words have no gravity on their own. I could spell out mystical, philosophical, or scientific discourse, but true understanding begins with self-inquiry. Despite this, I dedicated my paintings to this subject – the pursuit of transcending the thinking mind and uncovering the answer to the question, “What does the phrase ‘I am’ truly mean?” When the ego persists, adorned with both valuable and worthless thoughts, I remain a rebel.

The Portal to the NO-Self

Oil on Canvas

39 x 39 inches

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Reflection is how we see the world. The phenomenon of the mirror has stimulated the artist for centuries. It also appears in the Buddhist tradition. To bring this a little closer, reflection is what is happening in your eyes. If you are in a forest on a rainy day and you look down at the puddle, you notice your reflection on the surface of the water. But the reflection includes the world around you - the sky, the trees, all of it, not just the selfie.

Why is it that when we look at a reflected image, we say that the little shape of a head and body is me? The complete image is in your mind. Your mind “owns” that image. It owns it because the entire image appears in your physical body. It is a part of you at that moment. This line of reasoning does not imply that anything you perceive visually is your possession, as it is only an image. It means that you, while you are identified with yourself as a body and a person with such and such a name, the universe comes in and out through your senses. You are never separated from it. The one bright pearl, as the old Zen saying goes. It's impossible to exclude the external universe, you can't detach from it, you are it as awareness.

However abstract this all sounds, we are identified with all of our thoughts, as it appears in our mind. But where do thoughts come from? They come and they disappear the same way the images in our mind. The real old question this painting prompts, is if you let go of all your mental concepts including this one - Who I am? The prompt is to point to FEEL with sense perception not with emotions and not to create a concept.

Now we are approaching the self-reflection, self-enquiry the portal to the NO-Self.